July 13th

Freewrite about my custom designed ATM. 

Rather than spewing money from its slots, my custom ATM would spew forth time.

A machine giving me time would equal my dreams coming true. With this extra time I would create a positive sleep account and delete the negative sleep account I am living life with. I would create a balance in my life for time to do pleasurable things and time to do constructive, challenging tasks, such as school.

Because I would have enough time for sleep, I would have enough energy and time to give task 100 percent of my efforts. With an ATM time machine I would have enough time to spend with hours upon hours with family and friends. Hours could be spent with my horses, training them and then exploring the surrounding countryside with them.  I would have enough time to go canoeing down rivers and across lakes. I could travel to Boston to visit my sister.  I would spend months learning and perfecting dance skills. I might even develop enough talent to compete in dance. I might go to school to study chemistry to learn how I might help my two youngest siblings with their mental challenges. I would go other countries were poverty is prevalent. I would go there so I could become more appreciative of what I hold dear to my heart.  I would go to the poorest part of this word and work alongside a man or woman for the day.   I would learn how to play the standup bass. I would become a member of a Jazz band.  I could go shopping for hours on end with my younger sister, even though I strongly dislike shopping. I would have time to open a Gluten Free restaurant with my older sister.  I would have enough time to study painting with my sister in Boston. I have enough time to become a member of my friend’s rock band. I would take vocal singing lessons so I could sing and play bass for the band. I would have enough time to help manage our family farm.

But maybe all these things are desires of my heart, desires that will move me to live this life in the way God has planned.  God knows my life path; He has given me all the time I need. The greatest goal I can achieve is to use this time in the way he has planned for me.

July 12th - Place freewrite

Feel – three minute freewrite

In this place I feel gravel and chate shfting beneath my feet. Wind is blowing through the trees of the trail I am waliking across. I feel drops of rain hiting my skin. I feel Long blades of grass switshing againxt my legs. I feel seed ticks taveling up my legs. I feel wind freom the wrotm clouds above.  I feel my backpack swininging behind me. I feel water tunning down my throwt I don’t’ wkno what I feel come to me feelings. What do I feel in this? place I feel my heart sore at the hilltop views of Ha Ha tonka. I feel coolwater running across my feet. I feel cool air floating off of the cold blue spring at Ha Ha Tonka statepark.

Smell- three minute freewrite

I smell dirt and leaves of the surrounding trees. I smell sweet, fresh air from the surrounding fields. I smell musty damp cave ground. I smell smell I smell I smell Trees I smell the fresh spring water. I smell strained –treeted wood of trail decks I smell flowers of daisys  I smell sassafras leaves in my hand. I smell goosebeiire leaves. I smell ceder tree ferns I smell, I can’t think o fanything at the moment but I now I am smelling an amazing cup of Mocha from the “Hub” Bike and Coffee shop. I smell the countryside, not the city

See – Three minute freewrite

I see trails before me I see trees above me I see flowers of blue and white along the trails. I see castle ruins. I see Rolling hills from the hiiltop cliff I stand at. I see my siblings and friends walking ahead of me on the trail. I nsee the deep, beautiful blue spring at Ha Ha Tonka state park. I see cliff ledges and hhuge rokcs jutting from the hillsides our trail laces around. I see sassafras trees. I see seed ticks. I see miles of beautiful untouched land around me. I see the moon in the night sky. I see stars. I see a creek of running water. I see a rock ledge above my head.

Hear – Three minute freewrite

I hear birds singing in the trees. I hear thinder in the skye. I hear silence of the country. I hear my friends and siblings laughiong and talking. I hear rocks rolling and shifting beneath the feet of us travalers. I hear water runnding. I hear wind blowing through the trees. I hear the trees creaking and talking in the wind. I hear others moaning and goraing about the painful bite of unwelcomed seedticks.
I hear I hear I hear a phone ringing a phone I don’t want ot hear. I hear the things I want to hear. I hear the things of this palce I want to tbe , the  place that I’ve visited and I want to return to. Hear Hear Hear Hera a tarp being pelted by unsaspeted raindrops.

July 11th - Rain!!!! revised

Rain fell fast and hard on the dry, thirsty ground. The horse beneath me tensed as skies above rumbled and growled. The mare’s drenched hair-coat made my seat slick upon her bare back. My hands grasped long heavy hairs of mane.  Rain poured ran into my eyes, causing the surrounding terrain to blur in my vision.

This was Sunday evening. 

After church that morning, I had gone home to complete my remaining English assignments. Just as I finished an assignment, I noticed a dimming of the light coming through the south facing windows. The cloud patterns where changing from small wisps of white to robust angry blue. Tree branches began blowing in the wind. Opening my bedroom window I could smell petrichor - a pleasant scent that accompanies the first rain after a dry spell.

The ground had been dusty and brown for some time now. My heart began to pound and my mind raced at the prospect of rainfall. In a moment of spontaneity, I decided to go outside and soak up some rain. Once in our yard, I realized my own body could not dance or run with enough vigor to express my internal delight. The answer hung with a horses bridle and bit, which I grabbed from behind the barn door.

With long strides, I quickly closed the distance between me and the north pasture gate. Scaling the gate, I eyed the three family equines. Approaching the horses, drizzle was falling and claps of thunder where resounding. All three horses tossed their heads at my advance. Rivey, the tall sorrel mare, turned to face me and seemed to know I was coming to fetch her as my ride. Stepping away from me, she expressed distaste for the idea. A low hiss from my lips gave her a well-known signal, telling her stop and yield to my request. She exhaled a hyped breath causing her nostrils to quiver. Moving to her side with the bridle she dropped her head in contemplation of the coming bite. After slipping the cool, steel, bar into her mouth, I led her back toward the gate. Drops of water became heavier and my heart’s pass quickened. 

Once beyond the pasture, I griped a handful of Rivey’s mane and hoisted my body onto her bare back. Instantly, Rivey strode out in anticipation of my plans. Taking the wet leather reins in my palms, I directed her anxious body toward the gravel lane. Rivey’s front feet left the ground as she shifted her weight and brought powerful hindquarters beneath her.  My lungs could barely expand enough as her legs pounded under me; Rivey’s strides were full of spirit and vigor.  In seconds, we reached the gravel road and took a right-hand turn. 

As we ran, I blinked at the lightening flashing above us. In this moment, the horse’s energy was the only thing able to match my ecstasy in the falling rain.  From deep within me, a short, sharp shrill escaped my lips. Were it not for fingers wrapped around leather and mane, my arms would have been waving above my head. The rain changed to a heavy downpour as I pulled my steed to a halt.  In the middle of the road, Rivey pranced and arched her neck with nostrils flared. 

 Rain poured over my face and eyes, drenching every layer of clothing covering my body. “Thank you, dear Heavenly Father!” I shouted up at the thundering skies. Turning my prancing mount toward home, I watched as the surrounding terrain receded behind sheets of rain. Leaning forward on Rivey, I gave her free rein. With one swift stride, strong haunches lurched forward beneath me. At the sudden forward advancement, my firm grip of mane kept me from sliding off her back.  My eyes became blurred in the driving rain, but then I realized tears of joy were also to blame.

 In a few minutes, Rivey and I arrived back in our soggy yard. In the pasture, I slipped the bridle from her head. Rivey loped away to greet awaiting pasture buddies.  Soaked from head to toe and grungy with horse hair and mud, I walked toward the house. I inhaled deeply of the fresh petrichor and then, exhaled with overflowing joy.

July 10th- Rain!!! continued

After spending the morning in church fellowship, I went home to finish the reaming English assignments. After completing the last week-assignment, I noticed the light coming through the windows had decreased. The traffic cloud-characters of the sky where changing from small frills of white, to beastly freighters of deep blue. Wind from the southeast began stirring the branches of trees surrounding my home. Cracking open my bedroom window, I began to smell petrichor - The pleasant smell that accompanies the first rain after a dry spell.

The ground of our farm was dusty and gray from the dominating lack of rain. My heart began to quickly thud at the prospect of rainwater. My mind reeled with excited thoughts. Within a few minutes of acknowledging the dark clouds above I decided I would go and wait in our yard for the rain to drench the earth and my joyous body.  But upon stepping outside, I came to realize that my own body could not dance or run with enough power to express the delight inside me. The answer to my thrill seeking heart hung with the bridle and bit, that I grabbed from the wall inside the old barn door entrance.  With lare strides, I covered the distance between the barn lot and the gate entrance of the north pasture. Once through the gate I identified the location of the three family equines. As I approached the horses, the air became filled with falling drizzle and loud claps of thunder. The three horses tossed their heads at my surprise visit. Rivey, the tall powerful mare who turned to face me, seemed to know I was coming to fetch her as my ride. She expressed distaste for the idea by stepping two steps in the opposite direction. But a low hiss from my lips gave her a well-known signal, asking her stop and yield to my request. She exhaled a hyped breath of air that caused her nostrils to quiver. As I approached her with the bridle she dropped her head and began working the tongue inside her mouth as she contemplated the coming bite. After slipping the bridle and bit onto her yielding head, I lead her back towards the pasture gate. The drops of water where becoming larger and heavier my heart beet faster and harder. Once  outside the pasture, I griped a handful of Rivey’s mane as I hoisted my body up onto her bareback. Instantly, Rivey began to move in apprehensive anticipation of my plans. Taking the wet leather reins into my palms, I shifted her tense body to face the gravel lain that led to back-country roads. With the direction appointed, Rivey’s front feet left the ground as she shifted to bring powerful hindquarters beneath her.  My lungs could not inhale enough wind for the rapid beat of my souring heart as her legs drove below me.  We quickly came to the end of the lain leaving home and took a right-hand turn to gallop down the long gravel runway before us.  Rivey’s strides were choppy and full of spirit and vigor.

As we ran, I blinked over the thoughts of the possible lightening strikes above. The horses power before me was at that moment the only energy equaling my ecstasy in celebration of the rain.  A quick sharp shrill, from deep within me, escaped my lips. My hands and arms would have been flalling above my head if it were not for fingers wrapped around leather and mane. The heavy drizzle changed to a heavy downpour as I pulled my steed to a stop.  In the middle of the gravel road, Rivey pranced at the pause in our travel. Her neck arched with constricted muscles. Heavy breaths of air traveled through her flared nostrils. My entire being seemed to reel with joy as rain drenched every layer of clothing upon my body. Rain poured over my eyes and traveled down my face. “Thank you dear Heavenly Father” I shouted, into the thundering skies. I wanted to sing, but my words would have been gurgled. So with one last dash of bliss I turned my prancing mount to face the way home. In this moment I watched as sheets of rain caused the surrounding terrain to recede from view. But with little doubt of our route, I leaned forward and loosened the reins of Rivey’s mouth.  The shift in my body weight was the only signal Rivey needed to know the pace to travel. With one strong stride, her haunches lurched forward beneath my body. The grip I had in her mane kept my backside from sliding over her hindquarters as her muscles contracted in movement. Our pace, and the rate of rain fall, caused my eyes to become blurred, but then I realized teardrops of elation from within where also decreasing my vision. Within a few minutes Rivey and I arrived back in the soggy yard of home. Once inside the pasture I slipped the bridle from her head. As the rain continued to fall, Rivey lopped away to greet her waiting pasture buddies.  Soaked from head to toe and a little grubby from horse hair and mud, I turned to walk towards the house. With a deep inhale I smelled the fresh petrichor, and then, with the exhale I felt my overflowing, joyful soul.

July 9th - Rain!!!

Rain fell fast and hard to the dry, thirsty ground. The horse beneath me, tensed, as the thunderous skies above rumbled and growled. Rivey’s drenched horse hair made my seat, upon her bareback, slick. My hands griped, for security, to long heavy hairs of her mane.  Water poured over my body and ran into my eyes causing the surrounding terrain to disappear from my vision.

This is the place I came to be, Sunday evening, July 8^th 2012. 

Rain is pouring from the heavens!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

July 8th 2012

Time is so precious.

The following is a ten minute freewrite about time and quality of time use.

There is so littke time that we are given to use in our lives. In this time we must complete are huge list of things to achieve. I could comeplte those things with a bad attitude ro I cuild challenge myself to  seek enyoyment from the process of the task and make the time I use much more valuable. Like my struggle to enjoy writing. There have been a few recent evenings when I sat down to write and bacuase I was tired I could not write anything worth the papter it ws inked on. I eventually had to decide how to use the evening in a quality manner and my best opition was to give my tired brain a rest . The next day I could, with a fresh mind, make heads and tails of my thgouts. I’m listening to Louise Armstrong sing while I write this. His gravely warm voice is adding to the enjoyment I am getting from this task of writing. I like jazz. I like vocal jazz. Anytime I get to be in the precsne live jazz and vocal jazz that time is felt to be of some of the greatest qulity. The times that I get to tear back all my layers of protectiona and truly speak with an open honest heart with my Lord are times that nothing could ever be worth more. God can always see my heart and element of it. But I often struggle to be truly honest. Opening the deepset parts of my heart is hard for me to personally do. It means I have to dig deep and look at my own self. Thankfully God is patient. Someday I will not have to be concerned about time anymore. In the Future there will be no “someday” there will be no day. Just pure heavenly eternity!!!! I hope that I can ride horses in heaven. There are many scriptures speaking of heavenly beings on the back of manificent horses. Time on horses I find to be worth more then money. So I dearly hope I will get to enjoy the activity of riding powerful equines in heaven. I pray that I can use my time. here on earth, in a way that pleases my Heavenly Father.

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I failed to write with out stopping :(  

I must try harder next time!!