Finale Blog Reflection

            Over the past 3 weeks and 24 blog posts, a challenge has been ensued and now complete. The challenge: to write my thoughts and beliefs in reflections, analysis, responses and creeds with clarity and fluidity.  This assignment challenged me to create and compose more written word then in any previous writing challenge. Some days, I strongly wished not to write. Those days I can see my writing illustrate a lack of direction. But often the blog post created in times like that where freewrites,    prompting me to let mental trains of thought flow to paper during a time I felt indisposed to create a single word.

    

        As the past three weeks have gone by, I surprisingly found myself delighting in certain blog post conceptions.  Illustrating a horseback ride through the heart of a thunderstorm became a work I felt I was able to purely express myself through. Writing the image of my ideal place was the first piece I came to truly enjoy. This post caused me to desire composing a reflection of the emotions and thoughts behind the blog, it caused me to desire writing MORE!

      

      Several times, I found myself reviewing previous posts. In these reviews I found grammar and composition mistakes, mistakes I never saw while composing and reading only a few days before. This gives evidence of how helpful, and important, moving away from one’s writing can be.

           

            Boldness was one of the changes I experienced in my writing. As I was assigned other English essays during this time, I found their first drafts became more fluid and abundant in my thoughts. Being able revisit through words, the emotions and thoughts I had on a particular day was a privilege I liked being able experience.            

           

            A long while back, my young self kept a journal. Reviewing those journals takes me on a very enjoyable reflective journey through my young girls mind. Thinking about it now, I fail to understand all the reasons I quit journaling. This assignment re-associates me with the many benefits and insights of keeping a daily writing.

Now, I wonder what this assignment might have been like if only I had continued journaling.

           

            I did often find myself in conflict with producing a blog seven days a week. Often, due to other life elements of work and school, writing seemed to be the last task I would ever wish to complete. To combat this resistance in myself, I often used this blog as a place I could turn away all rules and concerns and allow myself to simply vent my mind through freewriting.

           

            In this assignment completion, I realize I wish to not end writing blog posts. Even though I strongly distasted this project in the beginning, I have found many things I enjoy about the challenge of keeping a journal or blog.  

July 19th 2012

The past two weeks have attempted to weigh me down with a feeling of overwhelm.

Yesterday while at work, I began to mentally write a reflection about my reactions to this overwhelm.

At first, I began by tackling as many of the projects and assignments from my English Comp class and from other roles of my life I am trying to manage. Each day I was going to bed without half the amount of tasks completed that I had set out to complete. This was not in procrastination, rather a shortage in time for the amount of tasks, work and sleep I was trying to achieve. Slowly I began to allow myself to despair over my failures. My personality became short and bitter.  Monday morning before walking into work, I set in my vehicle reading my bible. I can’t find the scripture now, but the message of the words that jumped out at me and caused me to rethink my reactions to my current situation was this: Those who let go of hope, are assigning themselves to depression.

With out realization, I had allowed myself to believe I was falling and therefore I had began to lose hope.

These thoughts about my actions stuck with me all day. As I worked I began sorting and reprioritizing what I needed to accomplish. Instead of with a mental state of this is what I need to get done and how am I going to do it, I thought, this is what I need to get done and this is how I AM GOING to get it done!!

Though my nights have been a little short that past few days, my mind is much more at ease and I do not feel overwhelmed. A little stressed maybe, but not overwhelmed to the point of despair.

God is good and through Christ, nothing is impossible!!!

July 18th 2012 --- 10 minute freewrite

Comparing the painting edting process to the writing editing process has been giving me  a artisctic way of thinkg about the process of English composition. This last paper has tried me in many different ways,  I have struggled with it for many hourse. Hours I sometimes did not have to give,But I feel as those these struggles have lad to a vast amount o leanring. Ikkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkwhile writing with no PIANINTG with my sister older, sister. She always tole me I should come back and look at my work. Or Step away. Always look ot see if your paintbrush is trullly interpreting what you see and feel before you. This was so difficult for me to grasp. Being subjective to myself in my paintings was extreamely challenging. Being subjective to ones self in writing is as hard, or harder, at this point. Learning to write what is on my mind has been a large challengs as weel. But I have really enjoyd having the abilitie to “go back” to my thoughts and a emotions on paper. Papre, what is paper I lost my trein of thought while speaking aboput how pleasant it is to go back and view past thoughts and emptoins. How ironic. The past few days I have not had time to spend mch time with being creative in my blog posts. But coming to this page to write, just WRITE what is on my mind and what ever I can tape out on the computer keybouard in ten minutes, has been a great reliefe from the other writing projects that are more time consuimg and intense. It The weather outside is intensely warm. My shirt stuck to my skin as I worked over hot pieces of metal I was welindg today. Working in a very Very large building has it’s pros and cons. Little to no arconditioning is definitely a con. But the pros are, I am learing and being productive. Going to a welding clss 2 days a week for 2 hours each day does not compare to going to welding class/work for 5 days a week, 8 hours each day!!!

July 17th 2012

The things I love about my Mother

She is sensitive, when I least expect it.

She is always looking to help those around her, sometimes to her detriment.

She is strong and persistent.

When an event or task needs planning or organizing, my mother will often be found at the head of the arrangement force.

She is difficult.

She is patient.

She is not patient

She is loving

She is intellectual

She is analytical

She is a perfectionist

She is my Mom!!

Dear Mom,

There are far to many days passing by in which I forget to thank you and tell you how much I love you. I’m sorry for the times I can’t see past the troubles at hand to speak to you with the love and appreciation I feel for you. Sometimes you cause my mind to be challenged. Sometimes I wish not for my mind to be challenged. When I step back and assess your words and concepts with a clear mind, I often find them full of beautiful wisdom. To make you proud would be a great honor. To make you proud by first bringing honor to my heavenly Father would be even a greater privilege.  There are many things I hope I can reflect about you in the way I live my life: How you do not step down from a challenge, how you do not betray your values and how you reach out to others. Thank you Mom for never denying me your love! Thank you for all the time you invest in my life. Thank you for bringing my into this world through your love to my father and by allowing God to dictate the number of persons in your family.  Words truly fail to express how I love you, but these words come much closer to telling you then any statement.  I love you Mom!!!

July 16th 2012

What to write…………………….

Dark amber-brown liquid pours into my glass cup. The white frothy cream at the bottom of the glass begans to swirl and dance around ice cubes. A earthy, robust sent meets my nose senses as I inhale deeply of the heavy fragrance around me. The flavor is bold. Some call it bitter. I call it lovely. Some prefer to drench the deep, expressive flavor in sugar. I prefer to taste the liquid with a lacing of rich, fresh cream.  Coffee is a beverage I have fallen madly in love with the past few months. Drinking to much leaves me feeling weak and dehydrated. But the aroma my two cups of freshly brewed coffee provides me every morning makes the early wake up time a little more pleasurable.

Last spring semester, my older brother introduced me to a coffee house called “The Hub.” It is located at Chestnut Expressway and Boonville here in Springfield Missouri. From the first sip of delectable coffee covered in a frothy cream design I knew I had found love.  This place is special to me not only for the beverages, but also for the special conversations I have had there in the rustic, bike shop interior of the coffee shop.  I have had many a good cup of coffee from other shops. But I have yet to find a barista that can rival the beverages the baristas at the Hub Coffee shop set over the counter to the lucky taste- buds of this coffee shop’s guests. Thank you, my big brother for taking me to this place of rereate and refreshment. Somehow this place helps me be not so homesick for my home in the country. I am slowly finding things in the city that are enjoyable. Things that refresh me and energize me for the mentally draining world of city life.

July 15th 2012

Writing what is on my mind…………

Some people, including myself, forget how blessed we are with the amount of things we have. Today, I watched two woman sit down at a resuturaunt table to dine on their fresh tossed salads. But before one minute had gone by, the elder of the two began ranting over the amount of salad dressing on her salad. She wanted more then what she had. Rather than politely walking to the counter to ask for more dressing, she sat in a state of displeasure.  My mind goes to children and people throughout this world that have little to no food for their hungry stomachs. Yesterday, my sister who is a Registered Dietitian told me about another dietitian that was working with woman who where pregnant. These woman are working twelve to fifteen hour days in crop fields. Crop fields here in America. These women are struggling to provide for their families and children.   These women are probably from other countries, but I still find it sad see two women, who have more than they could ever need, sat and complain about salad dressing, while another woman is laboring for pennies out in a field.  A man, dressed in a white T-shirt and cream toned dress pants sets  at a table located ten feet away from me. His dark brown hair is peppered with strains of grey.  His face is creased with wrinkles, wrinkles that are hapilly dancing across his face as he looks upon the screen of his laptop. A headset choired, fitted with a mike,  runs from his right ear toe the headphone port of his laptop. His speech is in a different language, but I do not need to understand his words. I understand well enough that he is speaking to his family. Maybe he is talking to a family member far away, or maybe just in a nieboring city. Where ever the place of the person he is in conversation with - He is experience joy.

July 14th 2012

Freewrite:  10 minutes and 303 words

Recorded music of a large orchestra rings across my ears. The time of day is 12:01 AM as I start this 10 minute freewrite. My “Place” essay has kept me up way past my bedtime. But I am attemtoing ot put into pen a story I hold very dear to my heart. A story that needs to be told with a engine like the engines our writers workbench workshop spoke about. My list of things to be accomplished is rather long. I need to spend several hours in deep study of math this week. I am looking out acroos the vacant parkinglot of Panara bread. The free wifi keeps me a frequent visitor of this place. My mind is tired but eager to resume the task of illistarting my place. I am finding it difficult to illustrate with the write voices. But with percistance I will keep shaping my work. I love music, music of all types. Big band swing puts me into a mood of wanting to do some triple time swing. Manhiem Steem Roller music has a large bold voice. Jazz and its bass, take my mind to places of classical inspiration. O what to write. How hard can this be. My cell phone is laying next to my computer along with writing paper strewn with notes about my story I am working to compose. TodaymI was thinking about this narrative like a movie story bored. Movie makers come up  with a story line and make quick drawins illistaring the scnes. A team then cuts and redraws noumours times. Even after filming has begone, the directors are stlll cutting and redirectiong the stroty. The workbehcn I share with my class mates is much like an team of essay directors. Their ideas and comments help me redirect the story to better illistrae